.Saturday, May 26, 2007 ' 2:54 PM Y
It's been a long journey since now then i know.. how tired i am. Just that something happened this morning then i realised, how hard this journey i've been.. I had a very good friend here. her name is roon. she's the only best friend i ever had in here.. we have alot of beautiful memories together. she's true, she's faithful.. she's the best. though we both aren't good friends for years, but we build up a strong bonds friendship. however, there's a period of time i work together with her at the airport and we had a major fight. human will never know how fragile a relationship was until a fight had happened between them. so then. we never been talking ever since this incident happened. say truly, i really miss her. i miss all those happy times we had together.. we drink at the beach at night, we saw shooting stars together, we talk about everything and we laughed together. but, i never dare to tried to put in my effort to get her back as my friend. meanwhile, i realised that she became good friend with the dragonfly. after a while, my dad decided to patch up me & her and naturally we both shake a hands and become friends again. i still remember how happy i was that day.. and i thought that we will be back to old days like how we used to be, but i was wrong.. this morning, she ask me to eat breakfast with her. and she told me that she went to look for a monk yesterday. so i asked her what the monk said.. she says that the monk wanted to get 'bee' (i wouldn't wanna explain any further about this women but im sure some of my good friend knows about her) back to my father's side. yeah, i admit i was very unhappy when roon and bee was together yesterday, i was very unhappy when she told me that the bee wanted to get together with my dad. but i still smiling away, listening to what she wanted to say.. she say that can i help them to get together? how mad this question are.. how crazy can i ever do that.. and she asked me why do i hate bee so much? she's now totally stands at other people's side but not with me anymore.. i said "i didn't mention that i hate her but doesn't mean i like her." after that she told me, what she said was not true.. she just wanna see how my reaction are when she told me this.. she thinks that my mind think of something not good on bee. but did anyone knows? the one who think about bad things are the bee & the dragonfly. she rather trust someone who she also hated them last time than the one she's very good with last time.i really feel like crying when she told me all this.. and i stop eating out of a sudden, i just feel like crying. so i went away.. i felt like the friendship we had are as fragile as a stupid fucking lady can just get between us like this.. im not sad because she ask me like this but im just sad because i had good friend who don't trust me. i feel like asking her.. am i a person like that? but i think again, since that that's what she thinks, im left nothing to say.. and from that moment im very clear that, she's not my good friend anymore. she asked me to had breakfast with her, and i was very happy but i didn't expect that she just want me to listen to all this shit from her. tell me.. how many REAL people are left in this world.. if she's somebody who doesn't seems that special to me, maybe i wouldn't even take it to heart. but, she's my bestfriend. i cherish this friendship alot, i really do. Just when i was very depress, the first one i think about was someone i love. im missing him again.. thinking about what can i do to leave here and stay with him forever. i know im naive, but my heart can't take it anymore.. things that had happened here are not just those i've mention from this or those previous post. there too many things that had happened. making me felt like it's endless..And whenever i need him, i hope he can be there.. today is the 26th, saturday. are all the storm coming over me out of a sudden like this.. i don't feel like telling what had happened between me & him. i know it's my fault, im a fucking girlfriend. now, everything's gone.
