.Thursday, August 2, 2007 ' 11:56 PM Y
没有 joker 的日子，第十天。yeah, so today is the 10th day. im no exaggerate, i miss him till im going mad soon. sometimes, i would have this feelings suddenly. Just miss him till i wanna knee down and beg my dad to let me go back. And whenever i had this feelings, i would gone really mad from the inside and got frustrated and cry. And i wonder.. i was looking back on everything, the relationship we had are all the way like, he waits for me and i wait for him, no one will ever know the deepest meaning of "i miss u" than us. Something that Jo doesn't needs to worry about me anymore which is, i don't drink everynight anymore. I guess he would be glad to hear that.. whatever it is, i told myself not to drink and even though i can't sleep for the whole night, cos when i don't drink, i'll not cut myself. this is the first time that my determination's so strong to change, and i've changed to better.. I need to takecare of myself and don't leave a space in his mind. Saturday is coming soon, i can't wait to know what he's gonna say. but this what i think.. if he still hates me, i will be hating him even more.. and love is just hate.
