.Saturday, March 8, 2008 ' 5:10 PM Y

Wakeup kinda early today..
With a kind of feeling that i'll be going back to days when i'm all alone..
My brother and sis-in law is leaving to singapore today.
They won't be coming back anymore.
I will be staying here alone.. I will be alone again.
I know that i can do it.. I know that i can take care of myself.
I know that i've been alone before...
but, i don't want to be alone anymore,
I don't want anyone that i love to leave me anymore..
I smile to my brother last night and told him that i'm going to sleep...
When i lie on my bed and turned off the light, I cried so badly.
I don't want to sleep.. I don't want them to leave me.
I always cry to my brother and he'll always listen to me.
My sis in law will always cook for me whatever i like to eat.
I always scream when i saw cockroaches and my brother will kill it for me.
My sis in law would always cheer me up when i'm feeling moody.
I'm never afraid of any obstacles cos i know they're here with me...
I tried my very best to speak out my mind..
Tried to show that i've already grown up..
Try not to cry when im sad..
but still, it's never enough.
I understand that in life, there will always be something that you don't like,
but still, you gotto do it.
So i promise, i'll tried my very best to learn what i hate to learn,
to do what i don't want to do,
and to live like i'm very happy.
as long as my brother don't have to worry anymore..
I know that i'll be going back soon..
But I don't know how to move on to reach the goal.
I'm so afraid of this and that...
Just out of a sudden, everything is gone..
I really wish that i could call you now and tell you that im feeling very sad..
I wish to tell you that im afraid of being alone.
I really hope that you can tell me not to worry and everything's gonna be alright.
I wish that i could speak out everything from my heart to you..
I really hope.... I really do.
But i know it's impossible..
Things will never be the same like last time anymore..