it's lovee;

.Monday, June 9, 2008 ' 4:20 PM Y

How will I ever forget about baby's stuff....
Baby was alright so far.
But I've been missing him so badly.... :(((
So as I was saying on the previous previous post
that I'm gonna return baby his monkey..
I went to the "Teddy Bear" shop and buy a small t-shirt for monkey :D

Very cute right !!
I saw alot of designs too..
But this is the only one I can choose,
cos I planned to print me and babe's picture on the t-shirt...

So I'm done with that.. Nice ?
I saw there are some error..
Because of the blue stripes on the shirt...
Turquoise is sensitive when it's mixed with other colours :((
But no choice, cos this is the only design that I can print our pictures on...

I printed some of me and babe's picture..
Some are of them are taken recently and some are long ago.

And there are a few that,
I paste a small note at the back of the pictures about the details..
And if some of the story of the pictures are longer,
I would paste them in the letter...

Excluding those letters with pictures,
here are a total of 6 letters I wrote about us within 3days of time to him..
I was in a hurry to send this thing to babe asap... =/
If not I can write more..
But I think I will continue writing...
And send it all in a time to him another time again...
Meimei promised to help me to read to him all this..
I really hope it does help alittle... :)
And as I told baby on the phone that day,
here's my big presents for him !
I've already sent this whole box to the post yesterday morning..
And I think they will be flying off to Singapore in 2 days time.

Alright, something bad had happened this morning..........
Shit, I really hate it.
I always wanted my morning to be happy and carefree.
If I feel unhappy during the morning,
it can affect me the whole day !

Last night I dream about something
which I feel there must be a reason behind to dream about it...
I went to a wedding dinner with a friend (unknown person),
And my friend who's got married,
suddenly came to me and give me a diamond ring.... hahahaha
I really don't know why ok..
But it's true and that's all about the whole dream.
So I checked into my "All about dreams" book again....

After immediately, my dad called to me and we quarreled, I swear..
This is not like I'm superstitious or what..
But this is not the first time
when my dreams are giving me signs of what will be happened next...
And my dad was so ridiculous..
He got me, my uncle, my mom and my bro to get involved in this quarrel.
After me and my uncle, he go to my mom..
And after my mom, he go to my brother.
And now is like the whole family are getting involved.
He called to me this morning and asked whether is it that
I'm gonna quit once the company had settled down and I said YES.
I know why he asked cos the company will soon be earning alot.
He screamed like one mad dog..
Really, I just can't stand it early in the morning,
it's EARLY IN THE MORNING leh uncle...
This is what we've already discussed before
and why can't he just accept the fact I don't know.
And I finally say out something which all along I don't have the courage to tell him,
which is, I will leave no matter what.
My dad says I can leave anytime now....
Just that I don't go back to his house and stay.
See? Threaten again.
Please, I'm boring with all this craps of threatening.
This might scares me 2years ago.. But now, no more.
Anyway that house is not fully belongs to him,
it belongs to MOMMY TOO LOR.... LOOSER.

I just hope this matter could be settled peacefully but not in this state now.
I've been trying my best to do so, but he always tried to make it a mess
and gets the whole family to involved
so that they will persuade me to talk about this to him LATER..
LATER AND LATER AND LATER AND LATER, HOW MANY MORE LATER????
I don't care about how he feels at all..
I just don't want mom to be sad or unhappy because of this stupid matter.
Ever since 1990 when I'm born till today,
I didn't know I ever had a father..
He's not around when I'm growing older and older each day.
He said that the advantages for bringing me here
is that me and him can have more time to communicate.
Haha is that so? Even though me and him are both in Thailand,
But I am in Bangkok and he's in Phuket,
one here, one there.. communicate???
I know some outsiders read about this post might think that,
yeah no matter what he's my dad..
But com'on I know him best.
Use brain to think, how come my whole family can't stands him.
And I'm the one only left here working like a slave for him..
Alright, I admit not totally a slave cos I enjoy myself secretly.
I went to meet my friends who come to Thailand for holidays secretly.
I went to shopping alone during weekend secretly.
Even at night AFTER WORK, he call to me and I told him that I'm checking on account
but actually I'm chatting in msn and watching movies online secretly.
WHY? AM I SO FREE TO DO ALL THIS THING SO SECRETLY ALL THE TIME
LIKE AS IF I DO SOMETHING ILLEGAL?
BECAUSE HE DON'T LIKE IT.
My friends come to Thailand so what,
he wouldn't care so much and he wouldn't want me to entertain them,
instead I should spend my time WORKING.
Shopping during weekend? FOR WHAT?
He says : you are not supposed to go out and you should stay at home.
After work, if tired go up to room and sleep immediately,
if have the energy to play computer, go do some WORK instead.
Everytime work work work ! PLEASE I AM ALSO A HUMAN OK
My brother and Joanna has quited the company..
My uncle is now stuck at thailand because of my dad.
AND ME TOO. Why am I still left here working?
cos I AM STUCK. Not that I LIKE OR LOVE TO
I HAVE MY FUCKING DIFFICULTY.
I SUFFERED HERE FOR QUITE A LONG TIME, AND IT'S ENOUGH.
IT MAY SOUNDS GOOD LIKE I'M LIVING ALONE IN A BIGBIG HOUSE
AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT, BUT NO!
I AM NO DIFFERENCE FROM THOSE PRISONERS.

I AM NOT HAPPY...

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