.Tuesday, June 17, 2008 ' 11:33 AM Y
I dreamed of baby last night.
It was a wonderful dreams, but not perfect.
I was awake by my alarm clock this morning half way through it, damn.
I tried to quickly close back my eyes and continue.
But I failed..... =(
How I wish I can never wakeup....
Or if not, wake me up the day when I can pack all my stuff and go back.
I do feel the warmth when baby's hugging me tight in my dreams...
Like I'm so blissful, so happy..
We are always so perfect in dreams.
Never quarrel, never feel sad, no tears.. But happiness :)
My uncle came to me today
and talked about those matter between me and my dad.
I don't know what had happened to me..
I tried to control my emotions but in the end I still cried.
It's unbearable.
Especially when he asked me, "tell me why do you wanna go back so much?"
I gave him more than 5 reasons why within a minute.
And as I was saying, I cried.
He told me that, when I'm back to sg,
he can guarantee to me that
I can never get a job where the environment are as comfortable as it is now.
I get his point, I can understand.
I answered :
YES, i know.
but can all this give me happiness?
so if yes, I'm willing to stay.
He (my dad) thinks that I'm still a 3 years old kid
when I still doesn't have the ability to define the word HAPPY OR UNHAPPY?
He thinks that I request going home just for FUN?
Have he ever considered on how I feel?
Have he ever asked himself WHY???
I got big house to stay,
I got laptop, tv, air-con, one big office room alone
but am I happy? If yes, WHY NOT I STAY ?
Let me tell you,
I can live in a very small house,
I can live without handphones, tv, computer, mp3
but as long as I can go home,
I have my family and friends around me, I am HAPPY.
can money buy happiness?
If can, you ask him (my dad) to buy for me
and I will do whatever he says.
And finally my uncle shut his mouth up.
I had finally expressed all the unhappiness out at once
which I've been keeping them inside for so long.
I think he must be the unlucky one whom I threw all this out to him.
And I realised one thing after the whole conversation.
Samantha, you are just a loner...............
