.Saturday, December 27, 2008 ' 12:21 PM Y
I don't know why, I can't get along with my mother. I really wanna know.. what's the problem between us.
Sometimes the quarrel between us can makes me get vexed with everything around me.
She's the kind that will always make minor stuff become bigger and bigger.
She can say something really hurtful and awful at times... Which makes me think that,
I really cannot get along with her.. I told her there was a communication error between us,
but she doesn't believe me. She find it unnecessary to communicate and understand my feeling,
morever she felt that by talking casual to me means understood me already.
That's not what I want.. In my family, my brother understands me the most.
Every actions and words coming out from me, he would know what am I thinking..
But why can't my mom be like him? she'd always misunderstood me and assume that
I'm picking up a fight with her..
There's no trust between me and her. When I went out lately,
there's only 1 thing in her mind, "she must be doing something BAD outside."
Though you can say, this is part of a way to show her "concern" to me, yet I felt that,
she put least attention on me, even what I've done outside and hanging out with who,
she's never interested to hear from me.
To me, she's the closest person in my life. I live and sleep with her since I was a baby till now,
when we were young my dad ain't by our side.. So I thought I'm the closest person to her too..
But today, she look at me and say "我很讨厌你！" then I realised that I'm not.
It's really hurtful. Maybe she don't mean it or maybe she do. However, it's the most hurtful words I've heard
in my life.. I've once almost lost my life because of quarreling with her, and yes.. I will only lost my life for
my mom but not anybody else. That year, is also because of the word "I hate you" that makes me made up
a decisions like that.. But I know how silly am I that time. Nah don't worry, I'll not anymore..
That's also how I spoiled my gastric until now.. It's a scar that I'll always remembered.
I really envy my friends that have great relationships with their parents..
My father are needless to say, I'm more likely to treat him as my boss than a father.
In his mind, there's only work work work.. He's serious about it, and you can never add anything
personal while he's talking about work. Since young, I don't feel any father love,
so he'll be totally out of this issue.
Many of my friends said, "At least your mom and dad are in Thai with u.. if not u alone."
Honestly, maybe I'm used of staying alone.. I'm used of not communicating with people,
only work and work. As for now, I really rather live alone than to quarrel with my love ones,
and make everybody so unhappy.... I don't why I typed so much.. I don't know what is it really
about also.. I just need a listener..........
