.Thursday, January 8, 2009 ' 4:06 PM Y
I really really, hate myself alot at times... I know I emo again liao, but listen.
Why can't I just change before I go back and begin a new me?
Since now that I can get to go back to Sg, it was my biggest dreams that had fulfilled
but seems like my temper is getting worser and worser each day.
Sometimes I did told myself that "hmm gonna change my temper and be a better person."
But when I loose control, I always did something regretfully after an hour. It was STUPID.
Before I came to Thailand, my temper and attitude was very bad, you can call me "hopeless".
After a period of time, I tend to change.. And I was very impressed with myself about that.
But how come... Nowadays I felt that I was even worst than the me before coming to Thai.
I don't know what I want, and I do felt that I am not the me anymore
or maybe this is the "same old" me, I didn't changed and I don't deserved to go back at all?
I was so stress about my career for the future. I can't loose this great chance of going back.
I expect myself to achieve perfection to prove to my family that
they made a right choice for letting me go.. I don't wish to go back to life where
every steps of your future has been planned by others and you do not have a choice,
It was terrible... There's only 1 last step to go, which is my temper.
When I yell, scream and shout, I never tend to care about whether is it on the right time,
right place or right person to do it on. I always loose control, loose control, loose control.
If I were my families, I would think that this person is SI BEI JIALAT.
When 2009 had arrived, I don't know what goal should I set for myself for this brand new year..
Now I've set myself one, I wanna change my temper. I know I have to change,
cos if I continue behaving this way, I'll loose alot alot of things around me.
I don't want that to happen and I hope I'll not disappoint myself this time....
